Win Wants to Say...

Thank You.

I don't say that near enough -- I'm so focused on the stuff that's going wrong that I don't notice the ways that You really take care of me. I was so focused on doing what we were "supposed" to do in our relationship that I never thanked Marianne for her help in those things, I never thanked her for her support along the way. By prayer and supplication with thanksgiving -- I'm doing better on the prayer and supplication part, but I've neglected the thanksgiving part when I make my requests known to You. I expect the peace without thanking You for the peace. I certainly try to comprehend the peace, even though You tell me that it surpasses my comprehension, yet I still don't think to thank You for it. Yes, thank You for all You've done in me just in the last 9 days -- please let me never forget it, please let me never let the fire burn down again -- and thanks in advance for Your goodness in that regard. Thanks for the ways You blessed me through Marianne. If You see fit to give me another chance, please help me never to lose sight of how much of a blessing she is.


I Love You.

True, I told Marianne that plenty of times, but I still wanted to say it more. More than expressing the feeling, I want it to mean that I'll make the decisions that have her best interests in mind -- that's what love really is. The feelings can come and go, but the commitment to choose her best over mine -- well, that's a decision I'll have to make every moment of every day. If You see fit to give me another chance, please help me never to lose sight of that either. Besides that, I don't tell You near enough that I love You, maybe because I really don't know how to mean it. Sure it's easier to express the feeling for another person, but how do I express even the feeling to You, much less believe that I can possibly do anything to look out for Your best interests? You tell me that those who follow Your commandments are those who love You, and I try to follow those commandments. Yet I often do so begrudgingly, expecting something in return, whining that You made me do it at all. Perhaps then loving You isn't so much about what I do; it's more about how I do it, why I do it. I do it because You created me for Your praise, for Your glory, for Your pleasure -- perhaps loving You is coming to the realization that those are reasons enough.

I was originally going to title this post "Things I Wish I Had Said," but that implies regret about something I can't change. You still give me a chance every day to be thankful, a chance to be loving -- I still have a chance to do things the right way. So thank You. I love You.