Win's Got Some Ground To Cover...

Now that I've settled back into my daily routine I'm finding it more of a struggle to not fall back into my old patterns of thought and action (and reaction). As I was leaving my parents' house last night, I thought of several things I could have done differently to serve them better and several things I could have done differently to honor them better, and I was discouraged because I knew I had failed and was worried that I was falling back a few steps already. If You call me to humility, gentleness, patience, and love and I am not humble, gentle, patient, and loving, will You punish me? Even if You don't punish me, doesn't it mean that You are calling me to certain things that I must do to please You? So what's the difference between doing things to please You and a works-based salvation?

Thankfully, You answered me fairly quickly...

Fact: You call me to humility, gentleness, patience, and love. Fact: I will fail at doing all of these. Thus I miss Your mark and I'm doomed to live an unfulfilled life, right? Um... no. Living to please You means that I certainly make an effort -- my best effort, actually -- at being who You've called me to be (i.e. humble, gentle, patient, loving, etc...), but I also rely on Your grace when I fail. It is Your grace that affords me the opportunity to serve others in humilty, gentleness, patience, and love, and by Your grace I know You will give me other opportunities to serve my parents in all of those ways. I realized last night that regret might be the main symptom of the works-based outlook on salvation. When I regret not having done something rightly, my discouragement turns into anger at You for imposing these rules on me yet making me flawed such that I can't ever follow them as well as You require. A grace-based outlook on salvation understands Your laws and my flaws, but also understands that You created the Law to remind me of how much I need Your grace.

You have said that You came so that the Law and the Blood can be made one, not to destroy the one with the other. Your grace gives me the motivation to follow the Law because it pleases You when I do so, and Your grace gives me a chance to try again after I've failed. Still, why the cycle of Law, failure, grace, Law, failure, grace? Perhaps when You say that You created me for the praise of Your glorious grace, You intended for me to experience that grace over and over again so that I never forget what it is that I'm praising. Just perhaps...